Folklore: Romeo, Juliet, and a DPV

February 2, 2010

Once upon a time, in the club of games there was a Desert Patrol Vehicle.

Coyote recalls a Desert Combat match,

"It had taken me about five minutes to get a hold of this dream machine..."
"This dune buggy of dune buggies was much sought after by many of the gamers.  It was usually found, when not ripping up sand on the desert floor, in a U.S. tent city on one corner of the map."
"The vehicle re-spawned, and I rounded the corner of a tent sprinting for it.. 'Target' appeared ahead of me running for the vehicle as well.  In a clear cut case of fratricide, I promptly gunned him down in cold blood, hopped in the vehicle, and rode out into the desert.."
"I enjoyed myself for quite some time!  I ran over a few people, dodged a tank or two, and made some sweet jumps using the bomb craters that littered the map."
"Then; it happened."
"Tearing ass through the desert with nary a soul in sight, BLAM! I'm dead.  The momentary confusion stunned me, until I remembered to check the kill dialog in the corner of my screen.  'Geist', my girlfriend of one year with little gaming experience, had killed me.  Not only had she killed me driving at break-neck speeds in a DPV, she had done so in one shot to the head with a pistol.."

Geist remembers,

"I was holding holding a capture flag, and had run out of everything but pistol ammo."
"I just aimed and shot.. I left the buggy alone not wanting to leave the flag..."

Coyote concludes,

"I remember everyone saying, "Wheres the dune buggy?" After a while of everyone wondering, I leaned over to 'Geist' and asked her where she was driving it. She laughed, pointed at the screen and said, "It's right there." She had left it where it lay in the middle of the desert.."
"Not only had she humiliated me, she had unknowingly trolled the whole room by forcing the buggy to time-die and respawn.."
"I remember thinking, "I love this woman."

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February 2. 2010 20:25

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About the Author...

U.G. Wilson is a 24 year old firmly in the grip of total madness.. He is a husband, a martial artist, and a software engineer living, working, and playing in Auburn, Alabama.